Teens and The Social Media Struggle

The Social Media Struggle with teens is REAL and is by far one of the biggest frustrations facing most parents I see in my practice. Let’s be frank, many of us adults are participants in the social media frenzy, as it has become an integral part of our lives and business’. Whether you are catching up with friends on Facebook, peddling your wares on Pinterest or loving the puppy pics on Instagram, 7 out of 10 of us are utilizing these platforms.

We Fear The Worst

As for our teenage children, we may fear the worst when it comes to their screen time.  This article here addresses how more time on social media is associated with depression, low self-esteem, body image issues, anxiety, social isolation, loneliness and perpetuates eating disorders and self-harm behaviors. 

The positive effects of social media have been found to be directly related to the social aspect. Teens can be current on what's going on in their social group and support one another, which is a plus. Yet when a teenager spends more than 3 hours a day of screen time on these platforms, the negative influences; like rumor spreading, lack of in-person contact, unrealistic views of others’ lives, peer pressure, and mental health issues have been shown to be the most degrading for our teen's mental health. 

Exploration and Direction

It’s important to keep in mind that teenagers want and need direction. We know that a normal part of the development of a teenager is a biologically driven need for exploration, which enables them to acquire experience to prepare them for the complex decisions they will be making when they get to adulthood. Setting boundaries and creating guidelines gives them the freedom to traverse the social media landscape while sustaining a more stable interaction. 

Tracking your Teen

Setting limits on your teenagers by tracking their social media time may seem hypocritical when you, the adult, are also utilizing the space. Yes, our brains should be stronger when it comes to social interactions and able to recognize the sliver of reality that the landscape represents. That isn’t always the truth though, is it? Facebook, Instagram and the like, often have us comparing ourselves negatively to others as we may feel that our lives are not as adventurous, exciting or romantic. 

Modeling Behavior

By modeling the limits on our own behaviors for our teenagers we can help them while also helping ourselves. Try setting social media time limits for all of you; as a family. Turn off phone notifications when you are home so you don’t feel triggered to check whenever you receive a new notification. You can also have “phone-free zones” like the kitchen or dining room. 

A nighttime social media curfew will give your teen a boundary that will ease their interaction anxiety. “Sorry, my parents won’t let me text after 10 pm” is an easier opt-out for them if they fear the pressure of their peers. You can find more ideas for easing you and your teen's time on social media here.

Moving Forward

As hard as it is for our teenagers to imagine the world we grew up in, without cell phone’s Facebook and Instagram; it’s just as hard for us adults to imagine our lives now, without them. Navigating a teenager through the social media landscape can be confusing and worrisome when these platforms are now such an inherent part of our lives.

As always, if I can be helpful in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out! All of my information can be found here.